Recovery Time

Howdy, Folks,

Sorry, I had not posted the updates lately - guess I have been busy re-adjusting my routine schedule but don't know where the heck I am going like going in different directions in a zig zag fashion.  It has been a new territory for me.  My last chemotherapy was Jan. 25th which I was really happy about of course but had to dread after effects for good ten days.  By the fourth week, the clouds began clearing up in the sky and I became more alert.  I don't remember feeling this way in two years!!  But it was short lived when afternoons and evenings came then fatigue set in.   So far the mornings have been good.

 

 Hello, Folks!        

I accidentally came across this blog and still figuring out how I got it on the screen!  Anyway, I am glad because I forgot that I did this blog 12 years ago describing my experiences with my chemo treatments and this brought me deep appreciation that I am still here very grateful and realize I need to work harder to keep healthy.  Some of the times, I just let it go and eat sweetened junk and did not listen to my "tune".  Yes, I must keep up efforts to feel good every day and say positive affirmations about Life.  

 I am working on how to find this blog to the public so that family and friends could see this and hopefully that will work out.  

 To close, I am really blessed to have a nice house; I enjoyed planting seeds and flowers in my garden and am saying prayers for 3 friends who are currently healing from their chemo treatments.    

 Liz

Update - New Life in 2011

Hello, everybody!

It had been months since I last posted.  I had to go on my "trip" without thinking or evaluating till now.  My time has been filled with new changes - some surprising, some great and some not so great.  It sure is different after the treatments.  I had to go back to work and notice I had to slowly get back into the swing of things.  Still, my body had to recover so I had to tread the waters - saving my energy just to go to work then come home to do the house tasks, keep in touch with family and attending physical therapy.  Now done with that and now going to the gym to do weight lifting.   I feel so lucky to be in full remission from cancer.  The only thing that still is a challenge for me is dealing with my near migraine headaches - that tends to happen couple times a month.  So will see several doctors to see if there is anything I can do to treat them.
Thank you all for your support with the bottom of my heart.

Running the Last Leg of Marathon of Treatments - Huff and Puff!

Wow, I have been "busy" just resting and receiving wonderful visitors then felt exhausted from just being awake and talking to people!   I also was spending little of my time organizing my house - just the light stuff.  How can I sit still and look at stuff and shake my head, "that thing got to be somewhere else or given away!".   In the last three weeks, my level of energy has gone down quite a bit - the repeated chemotherapy treatments has taken a toll on my body but the good news is that I have one more to go!  The last and 12th one will be on Jan. 25th.  Yes!!  My oncologist and I decided that I could return to work by March 31st with 2 months recovery time, although, it will be many months for me to fully recover, I will be expected to be mostly recovered by then.

As doctors and cancer survivors warned me, my fatigue really hit me good.  But I got tad bit energy back for just few days because I received 3 instead of 4 chemotherapy drugs last week.   This drug, Bleomycin had to be dropped because my repeated pulmonary function tests have shown a gradual decline in my lung function which the last one (from last week) was reported 15% down from the beginning of treatment.  But I will recover with time as my oncologist said.  Maybe that is why I am tired as well.  The other chemotherapy drugs continue to work through my body for days anyway.

Eating little by little is so time consuming because my stomach could not take as much as one time - too sensitive to any type of acidic foods such as tomatoes, orange juice, spice foods, etc.  I am determined to keep up my weight - just to keep it steady during treatment - I just nosh every 2 hours.  I also drank supplement beverage, Boost regularly.   I live on noodle kugel, matzah ball chicken soup, chicken, apple sauce and stuff like that.  I could not eat fresh veggies and fruits because of risk of bacteria in them - everything has to be cooked.  I tend to get "neutropenic" which means having real low blood cell counts, therefore, I have higher risk of getting infected with anything related to bacteria.  But thank god, I get the Neupogen shots and my counts got up so my system become more immune.  To date, I had not gotten sick except once when I only had a cold back in October.  How?  Maybe because I washed my hands frequently; brushed my teeth and had mouthwashes several times a day and of course, rested and stayed away from crowds of people most of the time.

Aside from all those crazy body adjustments, I do enjoy yoga when I can do even just for few minutes and get breath of fresh air even though it is cold outside.  It is real good to be alive!

People Asked How Do I Get Through My Fears of Diagnosis and Treatments?

 I first remembered in the fall of 2009 the deep fear of the unknown when I lost a lot of weight and had daily nerve/muscle body pain attacks and nobody understood me including my doctors for a long time.   I did not want to go through this long period of the unknown again but glad that was over.   As you know, I work as a clinical social worker, I had quite a bit training on assisting clients managing their fears, anxiety, and panic.  One of the strategies is thought stopping strategy which is what I used for myself.  I decided that I had to use one line of a song to carry myself through anything that felt scary.  One childhood friend taught me just one line of 1960’s Supremes song:

“STOP!  IN THE NAME OF LOVE, BEFORE YOU BREAK YOUR HEART …”.  That was it.   I mentally verbalized that line over and over – when I was wheeled into surgery room couple of times, when I smelled of hospital cleaning supplies, when my heart uncontrollably started beating fast, when I inadvertently thought of the worst what would happen to me, when side effects became worse and so on.  Then after thinking of that line, I would start making up lines like:
“STOP!  IN THE NAME OF LIFE – YOU MAKE IT RIGHT!  YOU GO DOWN THE STREET, YOU MAKE YOUR DAY SWEET, GO LOOK IN THE WINDOWS, AND GO SHOPPING AND STROLL AND BUY CLOTHES!”  These lines change all the time because my chemo brain doesn’t stay the same, ha!  Anyway, my thoughts would wander away to more mellow POSITIVE thoughts.  That helped me a lot. 

Speaking of positive thoughts, I learned that from being a member on the Cancer Survivors Network that sharing stories help us think more positive and be supportive of each other – to other survivors.    It is that powerful!! They now are my best friends – when one does not post a comment for a while we would ask “Where is  So and So?” because we make sure others do not give up and that includes advocacy related to medical issues.  But I must advise that this online support group is NOT the place for final medical answers but rather a guide to avenues for healing.  Other ways is to relax using yoga when I can use it plus deep breathing techniques and also using humor in appropriate situations.  Also, most important of all, YOU,  family members, friends, co-workers have reminded me to keep thinking positive with contacts, etc. - I am really grateful - you do make me feel stronger!   You are Life!  Thank you, thank you, thank you. 

Right now, I dread the weakness I feel now related to chemo effects.   I cannot do anything or my body would ache big time if I become more active.  So I am resting, reading, typing, talking and eating as much as I can!  At least, I can eat peppermint chocolate bark ice cream, yummy!

Results of my Scans

Last Tuesday, I had to get Neupogen shot to get my WBC up and on this same day, I had to eat only meats and about 5 kinds of vegetables and no carbs then drink barium to prep myself for the CAT and PET scans the next day.  I felt out of sorts.  The next morning, unfortunately, I had a hard time keeping this down and had to go to the bathroom often during the procedure but was able to complete these scans successfully.   Then I had to wait until today to get the results so it was a LONG wait~  anyway, my oncologist is out on vacation but my regular physician assistant, Lisa who works closely with him spoke with him about my results and the answer is that "there is interval resolution in so and so areas" which means my cancer has disappeared here and there - in ALL areas!!  So that is good news!!  BUT I still have treatments to finish until January 25th. Huh!  The reason is that they want to be totally sure that I am clean.  Now with this good news in my head, I had to walk to the infusion center to receive my 9th chemo this afternoon!  I felt half happy and half sad - am feeling the side effects of chemo now.  Specifically, my tummy hurts a lot so am drinking Gaterade and broth and crackers.  But I am feeling different now and already am seeing flicker of light at end of the tunnel - yes it is coming....  

Oops - Comments are now Enabled

I am new to managing my blog here and was not aware that I never enabled the comment section which is why I never received comments from my audience.   I got alerted so fixed this problem.  You may make a comment at end of my post.  Sorry for the inconvenience that may have impacted on you in trying to make a comment recently.  Please be aware that in order to prevent from spam type of comments coming in, you need to type in letters that you will see on this screen in order to get in to post your comment.

Thanks very much and for your sincere support.

Liz